How gaining weight empowered me

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Hello all you beautiful people! I hope you guys are having a wonderful day… or night. Before I start, I just wanted to take a second to thank you guys for all the support and love I have been getting on this blog. I appreciate each and every one of you guys ❤ Today I wanted to talk about my journey with weight gain and how gaining weight EMPOWERED me. I have talked about my ED before on my other blog posts, but in case you didn’t know. I have dealt with a restrictive eating disorder for about two years now. And I never thought there would be a day when I was able to eat the food I wanted, go out when I wanted or gain weight and feel as good as I do now. I want to be able to tell all you guys out there that maybe struggling, IT GETS BETTER. I know you’re probably thinking, but how can I get to that point? Well, heres the secret that I found works best. Tough love. If you have never heard of this saying, heres the definition. Promotion of a person’s welfare, especially that of an addict, child, or criminal, by enforcing certain constraints on them, or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions. How I enforce tough love in my life is forcing myself to eat. I know that probably sounds bad, but there are defiantly days that I do not want to eat. I will come up with the most ridiculous excuses not to eat and this is where I enforce tough love. I say to myself, “Lexi, you have to eat today. Your body needs food to heal and grow.” I will say this to myself every time I have that negative feeling. Yes, gaining weight is such a hard thing to deal with and I struggle with it almost everyday. There isn’t a day when I don’t second guess my recovery, but I have to remind myself that there is so much more than counting calories and going to the gym everyday. My weight doesn’t affect who I am as a person, everyone that loves me doesn’t care how much I weigh and thats all that matters. Anyways, back to the real talk. My journey has been a very tough and long one, and when I decided that I wanted recovery for myself, I knew it would come with some hardships, like gaining weight. But I started to realize that my love for myself wouldn’t change if I lost 10 pounds or went to the gym everyday. It was something that I had to internally change and work on. Since being in recovery,  I feel more in touch with myself, I feel more confident and I feel more love towards myself and others. I just want you guys to know that you can get to this place too. Its a hard and bumpy road, but in the end its soo worth it. If there is anything you take away from this post, it should be that you are so much more than a number, you have so much life to live and you don’t want to be held back by a disorder.

You are pure. You are beautiful. You are loved.

Have a wonderful rest of your week. I love you guys.

Love, lex

 

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